The Passion, The Pleasure and The Pain, of it all...

Who can explain the genealogy bug?  Most all people like to hear about their great grandparents, where they came from and stories passed down from one generation to the next.   But typically there is only one family member who gets bitten by the bug, called genealogy.  It is truly an infection you can't get rid of, it's passion.

- The noun genealogy has one meaning: successive generations of kin; synonym: family tree.     

Passion for genealogy is one of the fastest growing pastimes as more and more information is being made available through the internet.   Family historians and researchers alike are connecting with distant relatives, whose ties had been broken, some for nearly a hundred years.  Internet friendships are formed because of mutual interest in specific genealogical areas of research and are nurtured by support and encouragement.   These friendships are important to the lone family historian. 

All family researchers have a starting point, when we began to wonder about those who came before us and what was their life was like.  Genealogy involves researching, compiling names and vital dates of ancestors, both living and deceased.   After establishing the relationships based on primary, secondary and/or circumstantial evidence or documentation, a family tree can be created.  Genealogy often referred to as family history, involving search and discovery of the life histories of the individuals involved, creating a life outside of just names, dates and places.

Family researchers dig through public records, church records, census records, immigration records and visit cemeteries, conduct oral interviews, preserve family history, all in hopes of discovering roots and living relatives.  They also want to understand not just where and when people lived, but their lifestyle, culture, traditions and what motivated them.  This often leads to learning the laws for the era in which their ancestor lived, old political boundaries, immigration trends, and historical social conditions.  This can be a timely procedure, but the passionate researcher thrives on it.

One of the most pleasurable events is the moment you locate a relative, no matter how distant the cousin, no matter how far the geographically distance is between you and it doesn’t even matter if you speak the same language.  If there is a way, there is a will to communicate.  The tension rises and you feel like jumping out of your chair and shouting hallelujah!  Your spouse and children think you have lost your mind and can't understand what the excitement is all about.  What do you do first, write a letter, call them and then - what do you say?   Whether the decision is to write or call, the anticipation of their response is like sitting on pins and needles.  Rejection is the worst thing that could happen and it does happen. 

Some new found cousins may have no interest in genealogy and think much like your immediate family, what's the big deal.  Or they may wonder what your personal agenda is.  Dealing with a skeptic is most difficult and sometimes it results in never leading to a follow up call or first time meeting.   One of the most important things to remember is not to give up.  You must become hardened against rejection in order to continue the journey, because skeptics are the exception.  Most people will welcome your contact and a relationship becomes possible.

When your initial contact is warmly received, you then experience the next jubilee; it could be learning information which leads to breaking through a brick wall, or putting a name on a person in mystery photo that has been in your family for years, this happened to me.   Adding branches and twigs to your family tree, strengthens your family roots.  The opportunity to have a reunion with this new found relative will be a memorable meeting.  There is something special about looking in the eyes of someone for the first time, who shares the same blood as you.   Secretly you look them over and watch their mannerisms in hopes of similarities in yourself or other family members, just an extra bit of confirmation - that you are related.   Many researchers develop and maintain relationships with new found family, often on different continents.

Genealogical journeys to ancestral villages and towns are becoming a favorite choice of vacation travel.  It is one of the most ultimate events in researching, walking in the steps of your forefathers, looking up at the moon from the same town and feeling the breeze brush across your face and wonder, did my grandmother stand here, could she have felt the breeze too?  Did she walk down this street or run through the old cemetery?

Then you visit the cemetery, you'll see very old graves, some fallen over from neglect and some are just no longer there, many cases stolen.  You search diligently for your family names and if you are lucky, you find one, two or three!  You stand there in silence, almost in a state of prayer and pay your respects to your ancestors.  You may even wonder if they know you are there, almost like they were expecting you, or could they have led you there.  Crazy thoughts - it's part of having the genealogy bug.

One of the first things a researcher does when finding a new relative or break through a brick wall is notifying their genealogy friends.  They understand what the big deal is and share in the excitement.  Sometimes genealogy friends are instrumental in locating your relative or share research resources, that's what genealogy friends do for one another.   It's a give and take partnership.  Yes, there are people who take advantage of good hearted people, who take and never give.  Those people generally fade out once they have gotten what they needed. 

Even an unsuccessful search for ancestors can lead to a better understanding of history.  The search for living relatives often leads to family reunions, both of distant cousins and of estranged families.  Family historians help to keep family traditions alive or reveal family secrets. 

Learning what life was like for our great grandparents can be sad at times, particularly if their lives crossed paths with world events such as wars, which brought hardship and pain.  To know them better is to understand their lifestyle, culture, traditions and struggles; particularly what motivated them to make decisions, like emigrating from one place to the other, in most cases leaving behind parents, siblings and friends, often never seeing them again.   We learn in most cases their decisions were made in hopes of a better way of life, some achieved their goals, while others never realized their dreams.

In today's fast paced world, it is hard to imagine the simplicity of the world they lived.   Their daily life was hard work, planting, harvesting, butchering; their survival depended on their own fortitude, forever preparing.  We learn what strong people they were in spite of their obstacles!  We discover their pride and determination, what better legacy could they have left to us. 

I've never regretted starting my family research crusade.  At times, I actually feel my ancestors sitting beside me as I research, guiding me where to look and what do to next.  Spooky, maybe, but I am not the only one who experiences this.  Seeking the unknown and yearning to find answers is something I don't think we can control; it's part of having the genealogy bug.     

If you are a beginner into genealogy or want to start, there are many resources available to you.  Mailing lists exist for nearly every ethnic group, county, state and city.  There are literally hundreds of websites dedicated to family research, most are for a fee to subscribe but there are many useful sites that are free.  Becoming part of a group and sharing resources is the best way to manage your allocated money for your beloved pastime.  Be willing to give back, don't be user and don't monopolize the time of generous people.  And always say "thank you."

Get started today, talk to all the family members - not just those you think will help.  Attempt contact and involve with as many family members you can.  Take note of everything said - do not rely on your memory!  Believe me, if you begin to write everything down from the start, you will save yourself a lot of time and regrets.  Being a retired skip tracer, I know the importance of taking notes, on even what may seem to be an insignificant piece of information; which may lead to be a missing piece of a puzzle one day.   Make sure to notate who you talked to and the date. Try to obtain birth, marriage and death certificates of your relatives.  You will begin to hear rumors of family history - write it down --but don't take that as fact until you've seen documented proof.   Ask questions and try to get detailed facts (names, dates and places) about deceased members - parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc.  If possible, tape conversations, especially with the older family members.  I wish I had asked my grandmother more questions before she passed away in 1992.  Little did I know, in a few short years later in 1999, I would begin my quest.

Find a Genealogy software package that suits your needs - there are lots on the market. Find one that will do pedigree charts, family group sheets, and family registers.

Consider hiring a genealogist.  Check out the Association of Professional Genealogist to read more about locating a genealogist in your area: http://apgen.org/articles/hire.html  

The Church of Jesus Christ of the Latter Day Saints (Mormon) - have excellent libraries for genealogy research and records submitted by others who are researching their families.  Join historical and genealogical societies for the locations nearest you.  Rootsweb is the most popular genealogy website, providing databases to access and internet mailing list to join: http://www.rootsweb.com

Yes, genealogy brings about passion, pleasure and pain; just as anything worthwhile in life, you take the good with the bad, the happy with the sad.  The pleasure out weights any sadness you may find, because we can not change the past but we can preserve it as part of our family history.  Most of all, have a good time!  Genealogy is a fun hobby, relatively inexpensive (but not always ;-); you'll make lots of new friends and find family you never dreamed of!

Happy Hunting!

Jody McKim
   2005